It happened again last night. Thankfully it wasn't anywhere close to last time. I awoke feeling something wet on my arms. It was around 3 in the morning. To my horror I realized it was blood. I switched on the light and assessed the situation. As usual it was the arterial needle from around which blood was oozing out. The sleeve of my T Shirt was also wet with blood. It wasn't as bad as last time but there was enough blood for me to be concerned and wake Jayaram.

Jayaram removed the plasters around the arterial needle and used a piece of gauze to clean the blood around it. He then pushed the needle a little more inward and taped it again. We watched for a while. It seemed all right. We went back to sleep.

It is incidents such as these that have me worried. There are times when I dialyze alone. What if such a thing happens then? I am not sure if I will be able to manage alone. With only one hand to do things (the other hand is the one the needles are in - you can't do much with it) and blood oozing out, it can be quite a situation.

My parents made me promise that I would bever dialyze alone when they were on their US trip. Good thinking. Empty bravado in matters such as these can be disastrous. Well, to be fair to me, it is not to display courage that I dialyze alone. It is only for convenience. Jayaram comes very late sometimes. And he has to leave at 5 in the morning. That sometimes leaves me very little time for dialysis - and sleep. If I start on my own, I can get both - good dialysis and 7 - 8 hours of sleep. Also he does not come on Sundays and I have been wanting to dialyze on Sundays as well. This results in me dialyzing all by myself the entire night.

But with things like these happening, I am not sure I should take such liberties at all.